martha's blog

Since this covid stupidness, and the closure of school.. I haven't had any time to really video chat with my tist, and have a session.  It really sucks.. He still messages me everyday though. I guess that means he likes me for more than just hypnosis? I sometimes think if you don't fill a need for the person, they'll eventually just move on. But he's still here. I guess that's a good thing right. Or, there are other things that I don't really like to think about.. I don't know. 
My need for him is so strong.

I try so hard to pretend it isn't...

I get jealous when he's not around, even though he tells that he loves me.

And still with my life situation, he still says that he loves me..

I've told him he should find someone who can actually be with him physically, and not wait around for me..

Still, he says he loves me..

But all I know, is that if he ever did that, it would kill me inside. 

It's crazy, I know..

When it goes long periods of time where I can't see my tist, as it has been lately,  I'm finding that reading hypnosis related stories or watching videos of girls being hypnotized just makes me kind of sad. And a feeling of something being missing. You'd think it would be the opposite right? You'd do those things to kind of help fill the void. But for me, it just makes me want it more. These are my feelings, just like you have your feelings. 
"Time to wake up slave..."

As she slept, that's what she heard in her ears.

She was still a bit groggy so, it was said again.

"Time to wake up slave..."

She opened her eyes slowly, the device still snug around her head..

It was Master's voice, he was speaking directly to her. 

"I'll be home soon slave. And when I get there, I'm going to brainwash you, and you'll cum over and over and over..."

Just hearing that made her cum. It was amazing how he could control her.

Then she heard him again..

"Make sure you fully undressed before I get home. Now be a good girl and do as you're told"

She immediately undressed, her pussy wet with excitement...

Soon Master will be home.. soon she'll be a brainwashed slave, cumming over and over..

Nothing could be more perfect. 

Take me. Lead me down deep. As deep as it's humanly possible. To that wonderful place. That wonderful, wet and obedient place. Where my mind is blank and my body belongs to you. Deeply brainwashed and programmed to obey, and cum.. over and over. It sounds like heaven doesn't it? It sounds exactly the way I want to be. No thoughts. No control. Just your obedient, brainless sex slave. 

You tell me what to say. 

I repeat.

Over and over.

As many times as you tell me.

I repeat.

It makes my mind so empty.

And wet between my legs.

I repeat.

Your words are my words.

No more thinking on my own.

I repeat.

Even as you take my body.

Making me yours even more.

I repeat...

Another hour, another day pass with me wondering.

Wondering what it would be like to see you in front of me. To see your face so close to me. To see those eyes that can so easily take me. To feel your touch on my skin. To hear your voice in my ear telling me the things I need to hear from you.. I always knew I was yours, but seeing with my own eyes the way you look at me confirms it even more. I just hope, that if I would ever see you in front of me, that I'd be all you needed..


Sometimes I have trouble keeping a conversation going, and I'm sorry for that. Sometimes I just don't know what to say either. Sometimes I have trouble saying I'm not interested. I'm not perfect and neither is anyone else. Good luck out there, if anyone reads this.
The life, the dream can seem so out of reach.

It can be hard to turn it around when you feel so trapped in life.

It can be hard to see a change when it's been this way for so long.

It can be hard to be happy for others, when inside you feel lost and confused.

And sometimes you just have to smile, to make it seem like you're okay..

It can be hard to post a blog like this too..

Even though I just saw you, I lie awake thinking about you. I can't seem to get everything about you out of my head, and that's ok with me. Your voice, the things you say to me, the way my mind empties when I stare at you... I love it all, and I wouldn't want to change a thing. I especially love how you brainwash me, it's so very addictive. I love repeating after you over, and over...and over.... Until my brain feels like mush. I crave it, and I crave you.
You sit me down in a chair, tie me to it so I can't move.

In front of me is a large screen, and a huge spiral pops up. My eyes can't resist but stare at it. I can feel myself drop down so quickly, my mind emptying, my body becoming limp. Then I hear your voice so close to my ear, mmmmm. Talking to me, as my pussy gets wetter and wetter with each word you say. Your words are fucking both my body and mind at the same time. Mmmm. You tell me to cum. I can't resist your words, so I do..hard.. I fucking crave to experience that, you have no idea how much...

I've realized that you can't please everyone. I've also realized that it's hard to find people that understand me, the real me. I've had so many people just stop talking to me. I suppose those people weren't the right ones. But every now and then, you find even just one person that understands, and doesn't judge or criticize the way you are. Those are the ones you should hold on to. 
His voice is the only thing she can hear now. Nothing else matters, nothing else exists. His voice has turned her into all that she's dreamed of. During the day when she's going on with her life, in her mind is him..

"Come to me slave.." 

She can hear it, so clearly now. And again..

"Come to me slave.."

Everything just stopped. Her legs moved on their own to the front door, and when she opened it.. there he was. Her eyes immediately locked into his. 

"Good slave" he said. 

He then pulled out a collar, and a leash. She was his now. Completely his. Her old life was over forever, and her new one with Master was beginning...

She couldn't help herself one night. She knew Master would be home very late, but she needed him desperately. She repeated in her mind the words that he fills her with, again and again. First it was just in her mind. Then the words softly started escaping her lips. Oh how good it felt, amazing.. it aroused her incredibly, made her heart race. She needed something, more. She looked for her favourite toy, still repeating to herself and feeling the pulses of pleasure surge through her. When the toy finally touched between her legs, she almost lost it but she kept repeating those words.. 

I'm an obedient slave, I'm programmed to obey...

Over and over she said those words, she could feel her mind going blank and her orgasm building. The toy between her legs moving faster, her breath getting ragged as the words came out. 

I'm an obedient slave, I'm programmed to obey...

Then the orgasm hit her, waves and waves. She felt so amazing, so fulfilled. So.. needing more.

Sometimes I wish that I just didn't know, does that make sense? Like how I crave hypnosis, and how badly I want to experience it in person. I hear it's more intense. So, sometimes I wish I never discovered hypnosis, because knowing that I'll probably never experience it in person really hurts inside. Or even, my sexual curiosities. I wish sometimes I didn't know​ about those too, because being married kind of makes it impossible to explore them. Like my desire to be sexually dominated. Sometimes I wish I didn't have that desire, because it hurts knowing I'll probably never experience it for real. Be thankful if you are someone lucky enough to explore, because some of us discover these things too late, and are left with a feeling of emptiness inside.
I can't resist, your eyes. The way they stare back at me, and the way I slowly fall as I stare into them. My mind going blank, all I hear is your powerful voice. Your words fill me, control me..arouse me, as I keep staring and falling. Its never enough, and I crave more. I crave to be your mindless, obedient slave.. I crave it every day, more and more as the seconds pass. I love what you do to me. I love the feeling of staring blankly into your eyes, as your words brainwash my mind. I don't want to be me anymore. I want to be what you make me. I want to be what your words turn me into..

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