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aesthete49's blog

(A cross-post from Fetlife, for my real kink family.)

Well, I did it. I finally had enough. After watching a sniping, pointless back-and-forth between my mom and my cousin calling each other hypocrites over Christianity and abortion and the US refugee ban (three words, which, by the way, turn my fucking stomach, just so you know), I decided that Facebook had outlived its usefulness. I archived my FB data, downloaded it, and deleted my account. The process took maybe 5-10 minutes, and my account is deactivated for the next 14 days, during which I can log back in and undo my deletion, if I want.

But I don't want to. Over the past couple years, my Facebook has been steadily decreasing its signal-to-noise ratio. I joined Facebook because it was fun, because I could keep up with my friends and family who I didn't see that often. Now I just see a wasteland of snarky political memes, links to articles full of slanted or outright false information, pointless arguments, ridiculous levels of toxicity, and stupid bullshit ("what does your choice of deodorant say about YOU? Take our quiz!").

All I wanted was to see what my people were doing. And cat memes. And for that, I was fine with giving Facebook access to my information, my likes, tons of valuable advertising data. And it really wasn't that bad until the past year or two, when I began noticing a slow but definite slide into noise over signal. I could have abided even that, but then came the 2016 US election, and turned Facebook into a hateful swamp of toxic mess from both sides of the political spectrum (the fact that there's only two sides to our political spectrum: another thing that turns my stomach).

So, it's done. I'm cut off. I'm sure I'm going to come across as this generation's version of one of those insufferable "I don't have a TV" people, but it's strangely freeing. I feel...unleashed, in a way, not beholden to that little "f" icon on my phone or tab on my browser. Will I miss it?

I don't know that there was anything left to miss.

Hey! Psssssst. Over here.

I know what you need. I can see it, plain as day. Ohhh, I was there, my friend: hungry, desperate, *needing* that fix. I'd found a whole new world (every moment red-letter) of people with my kink, full of sexy people who could finally, finally fulfill that fantasy that I'd carried around for so long. I'd simply find the sexiest, dommiest hypnotist I could and beg her to trance me, to add me to the harem of mindless sex slaves that she surely possessed. And there, with my eyes blank, mind empty, and cock hard, devoted to the service of my mistress, I would finally be happy.

Yeah, see that? Nodding your head? Since you're down here, slummin' it with me, I guess you've figured out that's not how it works. See, those sexy tists you want so badly? They're busy. They're choosy. They have their pick of the litter, because the people like us -- the trance-seekers, the sleep-for-me-junkies, the wannabe-hypnoslaves -- we're a dime a dozen. Less! But that doesn't stop us, ohhhh, no. We're persistent. WE'RE special, you and me, ain't we, friend? Yeah, that's right.

Only it's not, and now we've pissed off our first target and ended up on a block list. Not a good start, no, not at all. But hey, it's fine! There are plenty of tists in the sea. Let's move on to the second-sexiest and...

No, no, no, my friend. Let me stop you right there. You're doin' it wrong, see? You gotta change your *method,* right? And you need a teacher. Now, I don't wanna brag, but I've been tranced once or twice myself. It's pretty good, pretty good. If you look close, you can still see the spirals in me eyeballs, can'tcha? Ahhhh, but there's a trick to it. The "method" I mentioned earlier. It's a devious one, but it works. And I like you, friend! I'm gonna share it with ya. Come a little closer. Let's keep this between us, right?

See, this "method," it's based around the idea that this place we're in, it's a community. People communicate in it. Tists, subjects, men, women, genderfluids, dominants, submissives -- takes all types to make our little world, don't it? I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, mate: you have value. Yeah! You! You bring something to the table that nobody else in this community's got. Maybe you have some legal knowledge. Maybe you can paint like Mozart. Maybe your granny's got the best home remedy for the common cold on the planet. Think about it. Really think what you can bring to this community to make it a little brighter, a little more vibrant, a bit more interesting. Got it? Good. Step One of "The Method" is done. You're a champ at this, friend! Gonna be drownin' in swinging pendants in no time flat.

Okay, ready for Step Two? Here it is: *share* your special thing. Awwww, jeez, no, not THAT special thing! The one you figured out in Step One, mate! Blood and thunder, nobody wants to see THAT special thing yet. That'll come later, but for now, share granny's cold remedy. Answer questions. Start a home remedies group. Communicate with the community, y'know? Just DON'T TALK TRANCE WHILE YOU DO IT! It's cold and flu season; hit up that chat room on the right side of your screen. Somebody's home sick with the sniffles, drinkin' hot tea and complainin' in the chat room, sure as sun will rise. Maybe it's a sexy tist! Maybe a little snotty now, but sure, sexy. And send gran-gran a card, cause now sexy-snotty tist is less snotty and very grateful to you. You can already feel yourself sinking into his eyes and words, can't ya? Well, wake up, friend, cause your work ain't done.

It's time for Step Three. Once you've done the "communicate with the community" thing enough and you got your sexy-maybe-snotty tist on the hook, it's time to reel 'em in with that most insidious and manipulative of techniques: friendship. Yeah, that's right. Talk with 'em, ask 'em how their day was. Take a genuine interest in them, as people, beyond just trance partners. Be patient. You seem like a smart one; you know that theory about the "mere-exposure effect?" Just sayin' hi and havin' a short chat on the regular gets them likin' you more and more. And hey, we're on a hypno-fetish site, right? Trance is gonna come up, sooner or later. Let them bring it up. Friend, you're so close now. Don't blow it. Don't go back to bein' the person you were, beggin' anyone and everyone for a trance. Just talk about it. Ask questions if they seem like the knowin'-things sort. A little light flirtin' (LIGHT, friend! Don't be creepy about it and keep your "special thing" covered up!) never hurt, either. Walk 'em down the road, gently-like, you master manipulator, you. And if they don't wanna trance you right now, be cool. Thank 'em for the consideration and don't bring it up again. Let your old buddy, mere-exposure, bring 'em on back. Be patient, talk about non-trance things that you care about and they care about, give it time, and the deal will close itself.

Badabing, badaboom, "The Method." Now you got a new sexy-tist friend, and life is lookin' good. No need to thank me, friend -- just don't cut and run soon as you get what you want, eh? Be a friend first and a subject second. You'd be surprised how easy it is to go real deep for someone you've built a bond with. And usin' people is shitty, and you don't seem like the shitty type to me!

Go get 'em, tiger. Build your community, make friends, get tranced. It's win/win, and whaddaya got to lose?

I have had a little experience with professional Domme videos. I've amassed a bit of a collection on Niteflirt, have spent many nights perusing Youtube and other video sites, and have indulged myself now and again in an actual purchase or two. Most recently, I noticed Rivernixie posting to the front page here and Hypwatch, and eventually curiosity got the better of me and I followed her down the rabbit hole.

River's style is unique among those I've seen. It's very much a guided meditation, magical realism sort of induction, with videos focusing on her pendant and nicely ample breasts. For a visual fixation junkie like myself, it works wonders: her imagery is on point, her breasts are beautiful, and she certainly knows how to work a pendulum. There are hints and traces of faerie-like mythology in her inductions, with an emphasis on nature and running away to play with her, but the themes don't overwhelm or distract from the trance itself. Her trances do tend to be on the lighter side -- there are only a couple files available on her site that go very deep, but most of them make for a very pleasurable 5-10 minute trance. Aside from the view of her (again, amazingly lovely) breasts, there isn't a whole lot of sexuality to be had; it's mostly just a very gentle, possessive, stare-and-relax trance.

If you're interested (and I really do encourage you to be), I recommend starting with the $6, 6-ish minute "Sixty Seconds" video. It's a very simply structured setup and countdown with plenty of pendulum and breast fixation, and I found it to be quite effective. It gives you a good idea of her style without too much investment from the get-go, and I've found it to be one of the most consistently pleasing videos I've purchased from her (it works nicely with my short attention span and get-to-the-point attitude towards trances in general).

River's a breath of fresh air in a crowded and somewhat overdone hypnodomme scene. There's no commercial pushing in her videos (nothing breaks a good trance quite like "watch more of my videos and buy things from my store"), and her trances are pleasurable and inviting without being overly domineering or aggressive. She's a wonderful getaway from the world at a reasonable price point, and I highly recommend her and will be keeping an eye on her work in the future. If you are interested, find her oeuvre of clips at http://clips4sale.com/river-nixie/ or visit her tumblr at http://rivernixie.tumblr.com/

Shit.

I highlight all the text -- five measly paragraphs -- and strike backspace. I'm in one of those moods where the word "strike" is entirely appropriate: the motion is quick, snakelike, aggressive. If I was one of those people who write by freehand, the wadded-up paper would've bounced right the fuck out of the wastebasket. It's not good enough. It's boring, trite, and predictable.

She deserves better. "It's just smut," I mutter to myself. "I know what she likes. She'll love it. Writes itself, really." The cursor blinks, patiently waiting for words that won't come. Fuck that guy.

The words come so easy when we talk, when we chat, when we text. They're temporary there, fleeting, throwaway words passed over throwaway devices in a throwaway culture. It's easy to be glib there, to toss out whatever comes to mind and shrug it away if it's not good enough.

This is different. This is a gift.

This is something I want her to take out and read again and again. I want her to smile when she knows she's getting close to the best parts. I want it to be her favorite, her go-to; when nothing else quite scratches that itch, she can always read my words with fingers on her clit or vibrator inside her, thinking of me as she brings herself to yet another quivering orgasm. I want her to close it reluctantly, satisfied...but always craving maybe just a little bit more.

I want her to pester me for sequels and spinoffs and vignettes and novellas. I want her to fall in love with my characters the way I fell in love with her. I want to see the blush on her cheeks when she whispers to me, "I read it again last night." I want to give her something that makes her feel: feel sexy, feel better, feel slutty, feel special, feel intense and urgent and horny and loved. I want it to be good enough.

The cursor blinks at me. Motherfucker.

I lean in, fingers on the keys, and I try again, black words pushing into the white space. Because she's worth the failing, over and over, in the most frustrating ways.

Because eventually, it'll be good enough.

Date: February 14th, 2016


Hypnotist: Thinker7 at sleepychat.com, via text


I did it! I finally hit trance! :D


It was a long-form text induction in a group chat of 4-6 subjects. Thinker7 began with breathing work, as per usual, but since I'd worked with her just the day before, I was getting into the rhythm before we even started. After that came a very long trance involving imagery, numerological mindfuckery including decimals and negative numbers, a similar mixed-image vision of the stairs and beach as we did last time, and some orientation confusion with up, down, floating, dropping, etc. On the whole, I would definitely put it into the confusion induction family, and it worked.


When I was deeply in trance, I noticed a few things. First, I couldn't feel my legs at all, and then, they felt unreasonably heavy. My breaths were, again, far deeper than I thought possible before I started trying trance. My thoughts came slowly and didn't make much sense (less sense than usual, I mean). And, most interestingly enough, I got bored with the trance -- it was very long-form guided imagery, nothing erotic or hypnotic, and there were a few times that I decided I was just going to come up and do something else. And I totally would have.....if I could have moved my hands.


Finally, Thinker7 brought us back up, and I did wake a good bit before the wakeup was completed, but it was still a quite amazing experience. I'm looking forward to doing it again with a little more spice. :)

Date: February 12, 2016


Hypnotist: Thinker7 of sleepychat.com 


This was presented as a very beginner-level trance specifically to help me go under -- the stated goal was more imagery-guided meditation than trance. Very long form, slow, gradual text induction in small private chat (me and one other subject). This one was rather effective, for me -- plenty of focus on breathing, good use of vivid and mixed imagery (a nicely slick usage of lying on a beach being overtaken by the tide and going down a staircase at the same time). Infrequent questions on level of relaxation from 1-10, with 10 being fully awake and 1 completely relaxed. I noticed halfway though that I was breathing more slowly and deeply than I thought was possible for me. 


I wasn't particularly nervous or aroused, but my brain still did its "jump the tracks" thing and distracted me out of trance. I didn't go deep, and trigger implantation was unsuccessful, but given the stated goal of the session, I would call it successful. Further work with the hypnotist is likely, and I appreciated the calm, patient demeanor.

February 10th, 2016


Hypnotists: Undisclosed + undisclosed (haven't sought permission yet)


Hypnotist used high-energy, rapid text induction in public chat (~12 people, I think). Two hypnotists worked in concert. Initially started falling, but didn't go very deep at all. Trigger implantation unsuccessful. I was very nervous and aroused, which may have adversely affected my ability to relax. The good news is that the primary hypnotist is now more determined to actually get me under, so future work is possible. :)