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***This was originally posted on fetlife July 2016 after a rather large controversy regarding abuse perpetrated by a very prominent figure in the EH community***

You may or not be aware of the recent goings on in the hypnosis community. The TL;DR version is that prominent figure who shall remain unnamed had accumulated a number of allegations of consent violation, a community round table was had and it was determined that many people would feel much safer if the person in question did not attend.

I commend our leaders for taking a decisive action to protect its vulnerable members, and now it's up to the community to learn from this.

This person is not a villain. They are not the embodiment of evil in our world. No, they are weak-willed and lonely child who stumbled upon a dark and powerful mask. We can ban this person from parties, but the tactics this person used others will use over and over and over again unless we educate members of our community and these tactics become less successful. So here's a list of red flags to look out for in erotic hypnosis. This is a compilation of my own and other's experience, PLEASE ADD ANYTHING I'VE MISSED.

Look out for the following:

1. The Use Creepy Mantras

My ex used to have my metamours and I repeat the following while we were deep in trance.

"I exist to serve and please and obey, without thought or question, anytime, anyplace, and with anyone you wish. And it's the very best thing.

....annnnd holy shitballs, that's creepy. Do you realize how easy it becomes to coerce someone into having sex with someone they don't really to after they've said that enough times? Mantras aren't necessarily bad, but they need to allow for autonomy to remain with the person. If you want to use mantras while in trance, try using something healthy like:

"I am a worthy, valuable person. I freely give to you my submission, and I choose to be fully present in this moment.

Admittedly I just made that up and I have no idea how well that will work, but that seriously has to be better than something that is designed to erode your sense of self and ability to say "no."

2. The Use Of Superlatives

In destructive cults, members are made to develop phobias of leaving. Now you don't necessarily have to bar anyone from leaving if you can convince them that the rest of the world isn't as good as what they have in the group. Now go look back at the creepy mantra. Notice anything at the end there?

Your subconscious will automatically create opposites for whatever you suggest to it. When you use a superlative, your subconscious sets that as a measuring stick for everything else to be compared to. By making us say their hypnosis was the very best hypnosis, their power was the very best experience, and their cock was the very best cock, slowly but surely I became convinced if I left nothing would ever be as good as it was. A much healthier framing is "It's a good thing," or "it's a wonderful thing," or even "it's a fan-fucking-tastic thing," because all of those descriptors allow for other good things to happen.

3. Insisting of Sex as a Form of Service

While this not necessarily hypnosis related and has not happened to me personally, I thought this was too important not to put here. I have been told by others who've interacted with this individual that when they said they didn't want to have sex, this person would insist they have sex anyway "as a form of service to them." I hate to sound like a Moaning Morty, but that just sounds like rape with extra steps.

4. You Notice You Or Other Partners Have Difficulty Saying "No"

Overtime, I started to notice anytime I needed to say "no" to something I found it very difficult. My heart would start to race at the thought of it. My other metamours exhibited similar difficulties. Looking in retrospect, constantly rewarding saying "Yes, [NAME]" created anxiety about saying the opposite.

5. You Start Having Panic Attacks or Other Mental Health Issues

Over the course of our relationship, all of my latent mental health issues progressively became worse. I started smoking, drinking, and having panic attacks. Normally, these parts of me are kept in check because I know how to take care of myself, but as my sense of self eroded away I could no longer hold down all my self destructive tendencies. Incidentally, my panic attacks went away almost instantly after we broke up, which was replaced by a deep depression that I'm still working to get out of. I did learn something valuable from that though: if a Russian ever tells you you're too drunk to drive home, believe them.

If you find yourself or someone you know doing these things, stop. This is far from a comprehensive list. Please feel free to discuss other problematic behaviors and healthier alternatives. If we spread information, especially to those most vulnerable, we can bring the dawn of a new day.

Manic_Pixie Feb 1 '17 · Rate: 4.33 · Tags: abuse, red flags, hypnosis, hypnosis

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