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When I Fell from RoseSpells's blog

His fingers. His fingers were the only things that I saw.


That's not quite true; it was the *motion*.


The way they pulled the air down, dragged my mind into trance, weighed my every thought down into the familiar feeling of hypnosis.


It felt like he had pulled one of those cords old light bulbs had on them

instead of switches. One moment my mind was active, its normal busyness;

the next, it was empty.


I felt my eyelids tug. My mouth fell, as if it had been stung with a needle of

novacaine. My body went limp.


My attention was drawn to my mind, which was now quiet and few of

thought. It was far too much work to think about anything other than how

good his voice felt.


He would say certain words or phrases that were brightly highlighted within

me. These would elicit a movement from my lips and vocal chords, but I

was hardly bothered by any of it. It just happened and it felt good.


I never wanted this dream, this desire, this pleasure to fade. I held on to the

feeling, soaking it in with every inch of me. I needed more.


But something in his voice triggered a response in me: it was time to come

back. It was time to leave this paradise and wake up.


But something in his voice triggered a response in me: it was time to come

back. It was time to leave this paradise and wake up.


As my eyes blinked against the desk light in front of me, my thoughts

slowly bubbled up from their hiding places. My mind was able to function

again.


The loudest part of my mind screamed out in lust, needing so much

more. I kept my outward appearance collected, but inside, I was far from

reasonable.


On repeat, his voice echoed "You must please me. You must please me.

What would make me happiest? What can you do to please me?" My inner

monologue was a broken record of submission and control.


Over time, this would become quieter and I would feel more like myself.

Within the hour, I would be back to me.


But for that moment, I was more complete than I'd ever been. I was in my

rightful place.


And...I was happy.


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